A night out to remember, or is it?
But t’was fun-filled kulitan and newly sprouted friendships over a few bottles with a little intoxication. lol
Not to mention, its Monday the day after and we have a morning show to consider. =)
19 May 2013 - Quattro
This morning after he left, I was also left with crazy scary dreams. Scary enough that no matter how many times I was awaken with fear, the scary dream continues—the same story, same plot, same scenario, same fear it brings in my very spine.
Though it was two different scary dream, it were both somehow connected to..hiding, running in fear, being chased and “death”-though that may have a subliminal meaning more than death per se.
The first story was like a madman was shooting all over the house, and the house in the dream is not the same house we’re living in right now, he is carrying a riffle-like gun mad enough to hunt every person in the house and wont leave any one alive.
It was scary as hell—the intense feeling of hiding overpowered with fear of being seen, being shot, being killed. I was almost shot, though Im hiding under the bed, a fan-like object saved me from the bullet that could have shot me to death.
Yet, what made the dream odd was when the shooting was over, I went out of the room and scanned house looking for my family—where they are, did they make it or were they killed. But to my surprise, I kind of discovered that “we are different.” Our family is different. They were shot, multiple bullets, yet they were not killed. We have this ability to bring our selves back to life. Stand up and heal the wounds as if nothing happened; and even restore the house back to how it was.
Weird. That made it even weirder. Are we somewhat immortal? Was this dream inspired with vampires and me being a super fan of twilight? Still, it was scary.
The second dream that follow was scarier, I think. It involves ghosts, and not knowing instantly who the real alive ones and who the ghosts are. And they haunt me. The next thing I knew, I was running so hard, I was being chased by this ‘ghost’ and I know he won’t stop until he got me. Its so hard to run since he seems to know the place perfectly, he knows exactly my way, and how would I re-route to lose him is a big puzzle to solve.
The dream almost choked me. No matter how I try to wake up and hope I won’t dream about it again, it does not stop bothering me until the time I need to wake up for work. What does it imply? It was the first time I dream this bad again since God knows how long when was the last.
What’s the message behind this? Is it connected to the confusion and fear I have in my heart? Is it telling me something I might face because of being with ‘him’ again? The fear of being caught, the chasing game, the ‘death.’ Is it all connected to what might happen?
Yes, if the answer is yes, I am a scaredy cat right now. Yes, I know very well that the fear is very similar to the fear I have in my heart if things doesn’t fall into place in my life.
So help me God.
| — | Manuscript found in Acra, Paulo Coelho |
In the cycle of life there is no such thing as victory or defeat; there is only movement….
And within that cycle there are neither winners nor losers; there are only stages that must be gone through. When the human heart understands this, it is free and able to accept difficult times without being deceived by moments of glory.
| — | Manuscript found in Acra, Paulo Coelho |
Last night was an eye-opener. I am holding on to nothing but his love for me, sadly, its not enough.
Its not that, his love is not enough for me, but its not enough for us to have a happy love story. Its not enough to make things well, its now enough to suffice all that’s missing, to cover all the flaws and most of all, its not enough to correct the mistakes of the past.
There are greater things to consider, greater than this great love we have.
03 May 2013
Today, I let go of the best thing that ever happened in my life.
Today, I made the toughest decision I ever made in my entire existence.
Today, I gathered all my strength and courage to hurt us both, for the good of us both.
Today, I used my head above my heart.
Today, (perhaps) I lost my greatest love.
Cause today… I let go of him.
03 May 2013
